Musings of a relocated Madwoman: The Landing
5 minutes to touchdown at Heathrow airport. I’m tired, groggy from sleeping tablets, dehydrated and fluey. As we start to make the descent, turbulence kicks in and we all get thrown around a little. I dunno why but I love turbulence; it reminds me of the Lethal Weapon ride at Dreamworld. I’m in a window seat staring at the bright lights of london town when I hear an odd noise. I shrug it off as there have been many odd noises during this leg of the flight.
A few minutes pass when I smell something off. I look at the little indian dude next to me as he cradles two handfuls of strawberry ice-cream flavoured vomit. Nice. I throw my blanket at him and tell him to clean himself up. He looks at me funny when I realise he doesn’t actually speak english.
It was at this point that the pilot announces that he cant actually land as the plane on the runway in front of him took too long to get out of the way. In my head I’m thinking ‘FUCK MY LIFE, FUCK MY FUCKING LIFE’. Here I am sitting next to sour smelling upchuck dude, crusty as all hell and craving a bed, and this stupid plane can’t land.
I close my eyes and almost fall asleep. Sleeping pills are good. In no time we hit the tarmac and in one foul swoop I scoop up my carry on and sprint out of the airplane. Customs awaits.
It was then that I realised that upchuck dude left me a little present on my leg.
Welcome to London, Kayta. Enjoy your motherfucking stay.
hey
at least you got a window seat!
xxxx miss you spew leg xxx
hahaha awhhhhhhh. lame ass ice cream vomit man. you got there safe though and that’s what counts! xoxo.
i can feel you closer to me.
that was homo and a little creepy but i don’t care.
nyc sooooonnnnnn
its a sign
come. home. now
joking…
its a sign of the good times induced vomit to come….
miss you
xoxox
at least you’ve made it safe love.
and update this as much as you can!
pics too of course :p
Fucking hilarious!! I can’t say I kicked it with crusty upchuck dude, but my first week relocating to London involved getting out of the tube station while all fluey and shit and seeing who can only be described as: drippy-dick dude in a trench coat and none else. Super.